Your Rights & Beliefs

Double Your Assertiveness, Confidence and Communication Skills Assertiveness, Confidence & Communication Skills
7 minutes
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Transcript

So now let's talk about your rights and your beliefs. The first question that I would like to ask you is, do you think that you have the rights to be assertive? Do you give yourself permission to be assertive. And this one here is a big point. Because most people due to their education due to what the their parents told them, or due to the beliefs that they have, they don't think that they can be assertive, because maybe they think that becoming assertive is rude, stating what you want is rude, or they have any other associations. So what I encourage you to do is to just take a piece of paper and to start with the first exercise, which is to write down the sentence the question, Do I have the right to be assertive?

And I would like you to just to be in front of the piece of paper. And you will have this question Do I have the right to be assertive and then We start writing. Yes, because I'm a human and I have a right. Sometimes I don't have the rights because I think it's rude. Or my parents told me that and that and that and that, and you will start finding uncovering the associations that you have with being a surgeon. Because for example, if you think that becoming a surgeon means that you can have people that don't like you, and it's something that is written down, say, I don't really have the right to be a surgeon, because I don't want people to, to hate me.

You will just think about the sentence that you wrote in and you will ask yourself this question is what I have written helping me to become assertive. It means that if I always fear being rejected and being hated by people, like Will I be able to be who I am? Because remember, you want to become assertive, you want to state what you want and who you are. And there is something that really inspired me to become My third tip is that there is a study that brawny Where did so she was a nurse in in Australia, and she was taking care of people just before they died. And she asked a simple question. And the question was, what is your biggest regret in life?

And you know what almost all of them answered. They said, I regret I didn't have the courage to live a life according to who I was. But instead, I lived the life according to other people's expectation. So now maybe it's your time to give yourself permission to become assertive, and truly state what you want. I will show you how I will show you the best communication techniques. But for now, I would like you to give yourself permission to say this is it.

I want to become a surgeon, I want to stick my knees. I want to say no more often. I want to deal with conflicts. I want to give feedback to all this. I really want to be myself. This is what this course is about.

So give yourself the rights to be a surgeon. I would like you to stand up for yourself, but also with The rights of others. So you will stand up for yourself, it will show what you won't share your needs. But also you will respect the rights and the opinions and the ideas of other people. It's really about being equal to other people. Okay?

And here, so I have something that I've created, you can see here, I'm terrible at drawing, but I try to do my best. So this is you here, okay. And here, I would like to just illustrate something. Let's say here, that is you. And here is your bobble is your 50%. Because remember, I said that when I communicate to someone, I have my 60% and you have your 50% of the interaction.

And I would like to show you that at any moment in time. You make decisions, and I would like you to regain control of this power, because most people think that's it. All the people that will decide their life and I want to show you that you are in charge. Let's say here that you have a coworker that approaches you. And they have a problem. It's other people's problem.

Most people think that they have to deal with other people's problem. No, you make a decision. First, you can decide here, it's in your control. So everything that is green is in your control. You can decide if you would like to address the other people's problems, or no, if someone says, Hey, could you do this work? Because I'm really late.

And I would like to have someone that that helped me and it's really a problem for me. You can decide here to say yes, we should say no, you don't have to do everything that people ask you. And if you have someone that have a family member that is with a problem, you can decide if you want to deal with it now later or if you don't want to deal at all, that's your right. If someone gives you an advice on on opinion They tell you Alan, you should be an entrepreneur Island you should be a marketer Island, you should be a teacher. If they give you a formula for advice on your career. It's their opinion, their advice, and then you decide yes or no, if you will take their advice into account, because when I started being an entrepreneur, I had many people who told me that it was dangerous, it was not great.

It was a high risk, I should work in a more secure job. So it was their advice and their opinions. And then I had to decide if I wanted to let that influence my decisions. So at the end, you are still the master of decisions. If someone has a request, and they approach you, you can still decide if you want or not. If someone criticize or give you feedback, you can still decide to accept this feedback or not.

What I want to show you here with this draft here is that you're in charge of your life. You may not be conscious of it. But at any moment in time, you're making a decision. And it's incredible to just realize that you are the master of your life like you are the captain of your life. At any moment someone calls you, someone tells you can you do that you can decide to say yes or no, you can decide at any moment to share your opinion or not. You can decide at any moment to give feedback, you can decide at any moment to do anything, you are free to do it.

I would like to show you the best tools and techniques in this course, on how you can do it. But remember, at any moment in time, you are making decisions. So you are in charge of your life. Okay, so here are the rights and the beliefs. I would like you to give yourself permission to be assertive, to stand up for yourself and respect the rights of others. And remember that at any moment in time, you are making decisions.

So it's just about becoming assertive and really asking yourself this question. What do you want Then express it. Do you want to accept the other people problems? Yes. No. Do you want to accept the other people advice, opinion requests critique when people criticize you, or give you feedback?

Yes, no. So that was it for this video here. And if you want, and I really encourage you is do this exercise here. Write down why you are giving yourself permission right now, to be more assertive.

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