Social Confidence & Comfort

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Transcript

So now let's talk about how you can increase your social confidence and how you can become more comfortable in social interactions. Or I would say how you can become more at ease when you are interacting with people. So in this video here, I would like to share with you seven keys so that you can interact better with people and become you know, more comfortable when you're dealing with people. So let's talk. The first key I would like to share with you here is what he calls positive expectancy. In other words, I would like you to expect that the interaction will go in.

It means that before approaching someone, I would like you for a few seconds, just to close your eyes and to visualize to imagine that you will approach that person and that it will go well. Why? Because if before approaching someone, we show our brain that there are high chances that it can go well. It's kind of blueprints that we are that we are showing up with And if we expected going well, guess what, when you will approach that person, your brain will already have a successful image of you succeeding in that direction, it means that your body language will adapt to match these blueprints. So the more you visualize yourself succeeding in social interactions, the easier it will be for you, and the more success that you will have. So do that every time that you want to approach someone, or you want to go to a social interaction, I would like you just to expect it going well expect that you will have social success.

I would like you to have faith in your social success. The second key that I would like to share with you here is again, the power of breathing, the power of breathing. It's something that you can use when you're interacting with your boss with your co workers, your colleagues. When you are dating someone. Don't forget to read. Do you know that the navy seals that are able to remain really, really calm under near death experiences, how are they able to do that?

Yet they have an amazing mindset, but something that they use also is breathing. So what I encourage you to do is when you're interacting with people never forget to breathe. You may say, Alan Yes, but it's a stupid advice. No, it's not. Because most people when they are stressed, they will breathe in a more shallow way that we that we forgot to breathe deep in the winter like that and and the stress will increase and that will become even more stress. What you should do is just relax.

Inhale by the nose. Exhale by the mouth. Don't raise your shoulders. When you are doing that and try to breathe with your belly. It means that I will be interacting with someone. And for example, before approaching that person, I will just inhale And then we'll do that three times.

And you can already see that I'm more relaxed. Now, just because I've used the power of waiting, you can do that before approaching someone. When you're talking to someone, you can breathe deeply as you can inhale by the nose and exhale by the nose if you're interacting with someone, because you don't want to be weird than the interacting someone and you say, otherwise, the President will think that you are a little bit weird. So when you interact with someone, just inhale by the nose, and it saved by by the nose, but you have to breathe deeply. That's the key to relax. Then the third advice I would like to share with you here I would like you to imagine the tension leaving the body so it's more like an energetic technique that I would like to share with you hear when you will be interacting with people.

You will feel 10 In your body, maybe it will be in your stomach, maybe it will be on your shoulders, or any other part of your body. And what I would like you to do is just to imagine where the tension is. And you imagine that there is some black there, imagine that the tension is black. So for example, when I'm interacting with someone, I imagine, I feel that I have tension in my stomach, I would just imagine black energy or just imagine some black here on my stomach, and I would just imagine that it's like smoke and that it's leaving my body it's leaving my stomach is leaving my stomach. If it's on my shoulders, if I just imagine dark smoke that is just leaving my stomach and you will be able to relax that way, you will be able to decrease your tension. The first advice I would like to share with you here is that you don't have to be perfect.

Most people put so much pressure on them on themselves. They think that they have to be perfect. They think that they have to say the perfect words, to the perfect things. Perfection does not exist, does not exist when you're interacting with people, once you make an interaction great is the fact that you are the one saying the words. It's not the words themselves. Because when you interact with someone, only 7% of the communication is verbal, it means that it's what you say.

And 93% of the conversation is nonverbal. So you should really focus more on how you feel, for example, trying to feel relaxed, trying to feel positive emotions in your body, and then go with the flow. Trust in your faculty to be present. Be open, be friendly, and be charismatic. When you interact with someone. And there are no there is no perfection.

Because humans are imperfect are perfectly imperfect. It means that don't pressure yourself too much. I would like you to give you best when you direct your people, but don't say Am I good, I have to be perfect. It does not exist. You just have to be your best self when interact with people. And you will see here in these lectures here, you will understand how to be yourself and how just to express yourself freely when you directories people.

Advice number five, I would like you to take small steps, they, let's say that you would like to become more comfortable and more at ease when you interact with the opposite sex. So this is your goal. What I encourage you to do is everyday to take a small action towards you go. So let's say you want to become comfortable with the opposite sex. Maybe today, you will just buy a booth a book on how to seduce a woman or man. The day after you will just approach someone on the streets and ask them for direction.

The day after you will be maybe approached someone in the bar the day after. You will maybe ask for a date. The day after the day after, and every day you take a small action towards your goal. And what is really important here and what is really key is that I would like you to reinforce positive in every action. That's how you will build your confidence. So after every action that you do, you ask for date.

If the person says yes, that's great if the person says no, you will learn from that. And after that you have asked for a date. I would like you to ask yourself this question, why did I do well, and what can I do better next time and every action that you take towards the goal, which is here becoming more comfortable and confident with the opposite sex, I would like you to reinforce it positively. This is really key here. This is how you can become confident with people. You can use that also when you are giving your presentation or if you have a job interview.

After every job interview. I would like you to ask yourself the two questions What did I do well, what can I do better next time and you reinforce it positively. And every day you take small actions once you go reinforce it positively and you will become confident, it's like magic. Okay? Number six. I said that again and again and again and again, the posture, the posture that you should have is like the Superman posture, your chest is open, your shoulders are back, you had a strict, you have a confident posture.

And if you want, you can just try that with me. Try to have the confident posture right now. And just on a scale between one to 10 How confident are you the posture that I have now is attend for me, it means that I feel 10 out of 10 confident. And now what happens if just I do that, I just go a little bit like that. And now he drops to a fight. What happened here, just the posture, just the fact of doing that sense my confidence level.

So it's really important that you open your chest. If you want to become confident your shoulders back, you imagine that you are Superman in Have a cape. If you do that in social interaction, you will become more confident and mighty. Now, number seven, I would like you to ask yourself this question, how would my confident self behave? As always, we already know how to act in a confident way, but sometimes we are afraid of acting that way. So if you ask yourself this question, how will my confident self behave in that interaction?

How would my confidence self communicate, what would he do? How would he act and then you do it. I would like you to give yourself permission to act as a confident person. If you follow these seven advices here and you go and you interact with people you will become a confident and mighty is if everyday you take a small action towards what you want socially, and you reinforce it positively. You will give confidence and you will see later in the course, we'll discuss about social fears. So there are a lot more that will that will be coming in the in the next videos but he I would like to give you seven powerful tips so that you can become a confident and comfortable in social interactions.

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