The Fear of Boring

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Transcript

A huge part of what's driving this fear of public speaking, is just people being polite, fearing that they're going to bore an audience. No one wants to be a bore. If you're a sensitive person, and I assume you are, you don't really want to be rude and bore people to death. Here's the problem with most speeches, even with confident speakers, is it's just a big data dump. It's like, here's a stack of every single fact about what my organization has done for the last quarter, or everything my business has done for the last two years. And I'm just gonna throw it all at you.

It's boring. It's tedious. It's a data dump. Nobody likes that. But unfortunately, that's what passes for so many speeches in the business world, academic world, as well as in the nonprofit world. It's something that affects my clients all over the globe.

The solution is, don't give a boring data dump so much of being a good speaker and appearing to Be confident ultimately being confident is being a better editor figuring out everything I could say on this subject. What's most important how have I really narrowed it down to what my audience has to know? Now I've been training presidents, politicians, CEOs, Prime Ministers, Nobel Peace Prize winners, Senators, members of parliament for 30 years. And I want to just give you quickly the advice they pay me a lot of money for, I'm going to give it to you right now and it all comes down to this. narrow your presentation down to just five ideas. Have an example preferably a story for each one.

And practice on video till you're happy with it. If you follow those few tips. You can be forget just getting over your fear of speaking you can be a great speaker. You can be a fantastic speaker. You can be a Just a world class speaker if you just follow those tips, but if you go into the speech, all nervous and flustered and who I want these people to think I'm smart, so I'm taking all these pages. Fact after fact and bullet point after bullet point and complex chart, what you're doing is trying to mask your insecurities, but it doesn't work, you'll just look more scared and more nervous.

It doesn't work. Truly confident speakers. No, I don't have to tell these people. Everything in the world. I know on this subject. It's my job to put a spotlight on just one or two or most a handful of ideas.

Now, the reason I say five a handful is for years and years and years. With all of my clients and I work with people from six continents. First thing I asked them is, tell me about the best speaker you've seen in the last year, maybe the last five years now. Tell me every single idea every message you remember from that presentation. Sometimes people don't remember anything. They just like this person style.

Sometimes they remember one idea. Occasionally two, sometimes three ideas every few months. And I asked this question every week, somebody will remember four ideas from the best speaker they've seen in years. every six months. Usually, one person will remember five ideas from the best speaker they've seen that year, perhaps ever in their lifetime. You know, all the years I've asked that question.

I've never had anyone tell me they remember more than five ideas from the best speaker in the world. So if you want to be great, focus on no more than five ideas pretty simple. And yet people hear me say that they agree with me they not. They tell me they only remember two or three ideas from the best video. they've ever seen. it's their turn to get up and give speech in the speech training.

And what do they do? They've got 50 pages, 89 points or a bullet point slide with 89 points and complex graphs. complexity is your enemy. Because at some level, even if it's a subconscious level, you know, you're boring your audience to death. It's also putting a lot of pressure on you to either remember stuff, or to read a whole bunch of stuff and you're not used to reading in front of people. That's difficult.

I want to make your life easier. One of the reasons you're nervous before you're giving a speech is you're trying to do something very unnatural. If you're all of a sudden listing a whole bunch of bullet points and a whole bunch of data that's not the way you usually talk. Most human beings are walking down the hallway, a colleague asked them a quick question, the focus on just answering that question. If it relates to an issue, they have Talking to a client the day before they'll say, Oh, yeah, Smithers and our Chicago office call me about that. And he said, they'll instantly relate it to an actual experience.

That's what we all do. As human beings talking one on one, we give up, we get up to give this serious speech, we stopped doing that. Here's the little secret. great speakers do the same thing you do when you're in the hallway. They just treat it like it's a conversation with one person. They give examples.

They give stories. The biggest difference between great speakers and awful speakers, is that great speakers illustrate every single key point with a story. Awful speakers say I'd love to tell stories, but there's no time I got all this data to go through. So you might not aspire to be the next Anthony Robbins. You may hate public speaking. You may Go for the rest of your life trying to avoid public speaking.

That's okay. But I do want you to know, it's actually very simple to be not just okay, not just average, it's actually pretty easy to be great. If all you do is this one thing, illustrate your key points with a story. A story is simply you recounting a conversation you had with a real client, a real colleague, a real customer, about a real problem and how you felt that's all a story is so when you have good stories, and you know, audiences will understand them and remember them and get something out of it. It fills you with confidence. It makes your life so much easier.

It makes it the stress just melt away because everybody's winning, you know, you're succeeding, you know, your audience is helping. So that's the process. You can have all the great skills in the world, but booming voice and good hand motions and a straight tie. But if your speeches really boring and it's a boring data, it's not going to matter. You're going to be awful. So even if you're not nervous, maybe you should be.

However, if you have a good speech structure, no more than five points, and an example, a story for each one of your points. You're going to be great, you're going to be so much better than all the other speakers that day. And you're going to know it and when you know it. The tension, the anxiety, the fear, it just melts away.

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