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How to Get Your Children to Talk to YOU about "IT": An age-by-age sexual education guide

Get expert advice on how and when to cover everything from where babies come from and puberty to gender identity and consent

How to Get Your Children to Talk to YOU about "IT": An age-by-age sexual education guide

Get expert advice on how and when to cover everything from where babies come from and puberty to gender identity and consent
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In this video, I share a bit about my teaching style and philosophy to assure it aligns with your own. When it comes to the subject of sexuality, there are a ton of different values and beliefs. Here I share a bit of my own. Like... I believe that parents are the primary sex educators for their children. For this reason, it is important to have age-appropriate conversations throughout their life span. I don't believe it is necessary to lie to children or use fear, shame, or absolutes when discussing sexuality. Open, honest, and frequent conversations are the key to raising sexually healthy children. I think it is important that adults in young people's lives have these conversations with them to combat all the mixed messages they may receive from society. Children have the right to have access to age-appropriate, medically accurate information about their bodies. Research tells us that kids that have close relationships with caring adults in their lives make better choices, are happier, and are healthier as adults. This is what all parents hope for their children.
As a popular speaker for over 15 years, I have taught thousands of parents and young people the importance of being sexually healthy. I've had multiple careers teaching sexual health at universities, running teen programming for community clinics, and working with diverse populations ranging from homeless and underprivileged youth, autistic and special needs populations, abused and neglected children, elementary through college students, to sexual assault victims. This diverse work experience in the fields of youth development and sex education has allowed me to accumulate a wealth of knowledge and expertise. I share this with families through curricula that help parents and children master THE Talk! I'll share more about that with you later. My entire career, I have had an interest in sexual health. Always researching solutions and best practices to help support youth and families. In an effort to assist parents with the growing need to communicate with their children about difficult-to-discuss topics, like sexuality, I founded The Talk Institute. My formal education background includes a bachelor's degree in psychology and a master's degree in public health. I've studied sex education internationally in the Netherlands, Germany, and France, where the teen pregnancy, birth, and STD rates are up to nine times lower than in the U.S., in search of best practices to implement here in the States.
When are children ready for “THE Talk”? Parents often ask us when they should start telling their children about sex. One answer is, when the child begins to ask questions. However, if you wait for your child to ask or only discuss sex when your child asks, some sexual topics will never get discussed, at least not at the proper time. Parents must take the initiative. This includes certain aspects of sexual maturation that a child may not consider until he or she experiences them. It is important that young people are aware of the physiological changes before they actually happen. For more information on what changes are normal in adolescence visit www.advocatesforyouth.org/parents/.
I have found in the 15 years I‘ve been in teen-pregnancy prevention and youth development, that a close parent-child relationship is one of the strongest protective factors in preventing unintended pregnancy and disease. Kids who have open and honest conversations with adults in their lives tend to wait longer to have sex, have fewer sexual partners, and have healthier romantic relationships. Who wouldn't want to sign their family up for that?!? Watch the video to learn more.
What might stop you from having conversations with your children about sex and growing up? There are many! Here we introduce and debunk some of the most common hesitations parents experience.
Here we introduce and debunk some of the most common hesitations parents experience. Afterward, you'll feel more certain of your decision to begin this conversation with your child. Be sure to download the parent workbook and begin the activities. I know you are busy, but please take your time completing it. It can be transformational!
A belief some parents have is their child seems too young to learn about sex. It is normal to want to preserve a child's innocence and not rush them to grow up too fast. Parents may hesitate to discuss sex with their children for fear that this would encourage early sexual experimentation. However, there is no evidence that sex education in the home contributes to either irresponsible sexual activity or an increased likelihood of adolescent sexual behavior. It is my belief that talking about sexuality WILL keep your child innocent. Watch the video to learn more about why.
Talking about sex can definitely be awkward and for many can cause embarrassment, especially when it comes to talking to your kids about it! This video will walk you through how to get past that. Don't allow awkwardness or embarrassment to be the reason not to talk about one of life's most important subjects. You've got this!
Most parents are uncertain about what to say, how much to say, and when to say it. I'm so proud of you that you are here learning more about the importance of these conversations and the appropriate timing of them. The easiest way to deal with uncertainty is to be certain. To do that you'll need to do research. I've provided some book and website suggestions to help you get started. These can also provide tools for helping you broach THE Talk with your children. When it comes to what to say and how much to say, that is going to depend on each individual child. As the parent or guardian, you'll have to gauge how much they can handle and then push yourself a little further. Often times kids need more information than we think they really do as they are exposed to so much so early. The main thing is to try your best to have conversations a bit earlier than your child will likely experience events. This will prepare them for what may come and allow opportunities to tell your child what expectations you have of their behavior. This helps lay the foundation of raising a sexually healthy child.
What do you do if your child doesn't want to talk to you about sex? It is not uncommon for children to resist having an uncomfortable conversation. Not just children, anyone really. This video will walk you through how to handle a resistant child and provides an example of what to say to your children to help them understand the importance of these conversations.
Believe it or not, sex education really begins at birth. As parents, you will be the main role model for healthy relationships. Your child is learning about love, safety, and how to trust others. From 0-2 years old, you'll want to positively acknowledge your child’s exploration of their body. But discuss that this is a private, not public, behavior. It's important to touch our private parts, at private times, in private places. When explaining all the body parts you'll want to use correct terms. This can be the first line of defense against sexual abuse. If you use nicknames for the body parts be sure to use the "adult" words as well, like penis or vagina. This is such a fun and exciting time to be a parent. You've got this!
Age 3-5 is a time of curiosity and exploring differences. As your child’s gender identity develops, encourage them to respect themselves and others. Use caution with language that sets stringent expectations of behaviors based on gender. Let them know they can talk to you or other trusted adults about anything. Name these adults in their lives. Teach them about appropriate touch and how to say no to unwanted touch. This begins with giving your child the right to decide who they allow to touch them. This includes family members. For example, instead of telling children to give someone a hug, ask them if they would like to give "so and so" a hug. Also, be ready to give a simple description of where babies come from. The video will explain more.
At age 6-8 years old, be prepared to answer more mature questions about reproduction. You may get lots of questions about what certain words mean that could surprise you. Don't forget to be mindful of your tone and facial expressions when this happens. Stay cool, calm, and collected. As children become more independent, reinforce the importance of open communication in your family. Practice this by having family rules around device use and sacred times when it is family time. You could have game nights and have quality time at meals and in the car to discuss your day. You'll want to begin to explain puberty and what body changes to expect. You can begin by reading a book together or using everyday teachable moments to get the conversations started. Always remember to promote a healthy body image. This means modeling this yourself. Be mindful of the language you use on a daily basis. Your children are watching you.
Now, as your child goes through puberty, emphasize that all bodies develop differently and at their own pace. Have detailed conversations about all the body changes before your child experiences them. This will help them know what is normal and ensure they are talking to you throughout this phase of development. It is likely you'll notice mood changes at this stage. This may begin with more attitude, tears, or aggression. Be patient with your children and try to remember that hormones are kicking off all of the physical and emotional changes their bodies will go through during puberty. Reinforce that masturbation is natural and healthy but should be done privately. Share personal experiences or use examples from popular media to discuss what healthy relationships look and feel like. TV and movies can be great conversation starters. Discuss your family’s expectations and values about dating and sexual activity as well. It is helpful to take a course together or watch videos or read a book explaining what sex is and why it is for adults.
From age 13-18 there are MANY conversations to have. Parents should talk about the benefits of delaying sexual activity. Your children will also need to develop the skills necessary in order to do so. You'll want to discuss reasons to wait, what healthy relationships look and feel like, as well as pregnancy and disease prevention for when they do decide to have sex. Experts recommend sharing where they can access sexual and reproductive health care services with or without you. Encourage your child to evaluate their relationships. Reinforce that healthy relationship are built on trust and equal power. Ensure that they know how to say “no.” Practice role-playing difficult situations such as parties, drugs, and alcohol. Explain what mutual consent means and why it is important. Know what schools are covering in the classroom and have other adults you trust to discuss the importance of being safe and having healthy relationships. Look for videos and courses that can help support you in having all the conversations that are needed at this time. It takes conversations early and often to raise a sexually healthy adolescent and adult. Always keep an eye out for moments to have important conversations in everyday life. You are doing an awesome job!
Want to avoid making some of the most common parenting mistakes--the Top 5 Things Parents Do Wrong when talking to their kids about sex and growing up? Of course, you do. That's why you are watching these videos!
As you watch the series don’t worry if you are guilty of one or more of these common parenting mistakes. I’ll teach you how to handle things even if it is after the fact. I look forward to seeing you in our next video on the FIRST thing parent’s do wrong.
If you are like most parents it’s easy to wait to have The Talk till there is a reason to talk about it, growing up is getting harder and harder these days, and it’s happening a lot sooner than it once did. Many times parents believe that conversations about the birds and the bees aren't necessary until a child has questions or has signs of physical development. The fact is, however, that some kids simply will never ask these types of questions. Your child is getting a sex education daily from the media, television, Internet, and their peers. You simply cannot be the only one not talking to them. Parents should not wait to talk to their kids till their child has questions, or for school to do it during the 5th-grade puberty video. Instead, look for opportunities to share your beliefs and values about sex and growing up in everyday life.
Another common mistake parents make is that they lie! Sometimes parents or adults believe children are too young to hear the real truth about sex, so they choose to lie or withhold information to protect them. If children find out you lied, it ruins your credibility and then they will discount anything you have to say about that topic. If your child is young, try to simply answer a question without much detail. If it wasn't enough information, he or she will ask you a follow-up question. If not, conversation finished without a big fat lie you're sure to regret later.
You know how you can look at your kid and know when something is wrong? Well, your kids can read you too. They will know if a topic freaks you out, embarrasses you, or makes you angry. It's important to be open when talking about sex. That means trying not to overreact when you are shocked or concerned. Take a deep breath and try to think about how best to react.
Research has shown that fear-based approaches are not the best tactic. Fear can seem effective but typically is only for the short term. Kids get stuck on absolutes, as part of their adolescent development is to challenge rules. Teens easily discount someone who uses absolutes like always, never, and all. Young people don’t just need to know about the potential ramifications of sex, they need to know what the benefits of a healthy, consensual, and autonomous sex life look like.
There are conversations that you are going to have to initiate with your kids. If you pay attention, you'll notice teachable moments are around you all the time. For example, you are watching a movie or television show, and a sexy make-out scene is on. This can make parents and kids feel uncomfortable. Instead of changing the channel, maybe this is an opportunity to ask your child about what you are watching. You could have an interesting conversation about intimate relationships, feel out your child's values, and instill your own.
This video and PDF you are going to LOVE! I've developed a framework to help parents answer ANY difficult question. Sexuality-related or not. This framework will help you keep the communication doors open with your children by encouraging questions while allowing you to answer honestly and simply. Please let me know your feedback and comments after you try it! You've got this!
Get scripts for some of the most popular questions kids ask that make parents squirm with the uncertainty of how to answer.
One of the most popular questions kids ask parents is, "Where do babies come from?" Other variations to this question may be, "Where did I come from?" "What is sex?" Or some derivative of that question. Not sure what to say? Watch to get some ideas and possible scripts for answering this timeless sex question.
Another popular question kids ask parents is if it is okay to masturbate. Maybe parents walk in or catch their child self-touching and aren't sure how to handle it. You want not to shame your child but talk to them about appropriate places and times for self-touching. Not sure what to say? Watch on to get some ideas and possible scripts for addressing self-touching in a sexually healthy way.
Another popular question kids ask parents is, "What is a condom?" Not sure what to say? Simply put a condom is a glove for a penis. Watch on to get some ideas and possible scripts for answering this popular sex question and tips to explaining more to your kids based on their age.
A parent favorite is, "Were you a virgin when you got married?" Other variations to this question may be, "How many people have you had sex with?" or some derivative of that question. Not sure what to say? Watch on to get some ideas and possible scripts to answering this question many parents fear.
Another favorite question kids ask parents is around birth control. Other variations to this question may be "What do couples do who don't want children?" or some derivative of that question. Not sure what to say? Watch on to get some ideas and possible scripts for answering this timeless sex question.
Another dreaded question parents have is around "other" types of sex or sexual behavior like oral sex. "What is 69?" "What is giving head?" or some derivative of that question can leave parents paralyzed. Not sure what to say? Watch on to get some ideas and possible scripts for answering this difficult sex question.
What would you say if your child asked you what age is right for sex? Not sure? Watch on to get some ideas and possible scripts for answering this popular sex question.
Another tough question kids ask parents is, "How do babies die?" Kids may ask questions about abortion or miscarriage as well. Want to know where to start? Watch on to get some ideas and possible scripts for answering this tough sex question.
What would you say if your child asked, "What is porn?" "What about a prostitute?" Better yet, you found adult material on your child's computer or phone. Not sure what you'd say? Watch on to get some ideas and possible scripts to answering another popular sex question.
What would you say if your child asked you about rape or sexual assault? How would you explain it, and what information should you include as they get older? Not sure...watch on to get some ideas and possible scripts to answering another tough sex question.
I hope you enjoyed your over 2.5 hours of FREE training on how to talk with your children of any age about sex and growing up. It is my personal mission to help empower parents to have open and honest conversations about this subject in order to raise sexually healthy kids. If you find you need more support, please check out my offer! If you received enough to get going on these conversations, awesome!! Thanks for taking the time to develop the skill of talking about this important subject. You'll be glad you did! All the best! Jennifer
Below and attached, I've provided resources to help you continue your conversations. If you enjoyed the course, the best thank you is to spread the word and share it with your friends and family. This will help me save on marketing and allow me to continue to offer this course free of cost. I wish you all the best! **Note: This page in no way represents an endorsement by The Talk Institute of the following websites. It is merely a compilation of currently available websites on sexuality that parents and their children may find helpful. Parents should preview sites for age appropriateness before allowing their child to view the listed sites. Sites For Parents (To keep you up to date) The National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy www.teenpregnancy.org Children Now and Kaiser Family Foundation www.talkingwithkids.org Sex Information and Education Council of the United States www.siecus.org - statistics and resources for educators and families Kids Health www.kidshealth.org/parent - provides general medical info on children’s health issues Kaiser Family Foundation www.itsyoursexlife.com - (888) BE SAFE-1 Advocates for Youth www.advocatesforyouth.org National PTA website to order copy Talking With Kids: A Parent’s Guide To Sex Education http://www.pta.org/parentinvolvement/healthsafety Advocates for Youth http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/parents/ - parent tips on how to talk about sex Siecus report on parent/child communication programs http://www.familiesaretalking.org/ Healthy Teen Network http://www.healthyteennetwork.org/ - National Org. for Adolescent Pregnancy, Parenting, & Prevention RAINN http://www.rainn.org/ information and resources on sexual assault American Medical Women’s Association Obstetrics and Gynecology www.obgyn.net Sexual Health Network http://www.sexualhealth.com/ - easy access to sexuality information for people with disabilities. Kaiser Daily Reproductive Health Reports http://www.kaisernetwork.org/ Resource Center for Adolescent Pregnancy Prevention http://www.etr.org/ Alan Guttmacher Institute http://www.guttmacher.org/– sex education research Center for Disease Control http://www.cdc.gov/ Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance http://www.cdc.gov/epo/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/00049859.htm Child Trends http://www.childtrends.org/- statistics and data
I hope you enjoyed your over 2.5 hours of free training from me! I realize that some parents may still not feel 100% confident having all of the talks necessary. In this video, I discuss an amazing offer available for parents with children 9-12 years old! I have taken all of the knowledge and experience I have accumulated teaching this subject and made an easy-to-follow e-course for families to take together to have THE Talk. You won’t have to research a bunch of websites, search for videos that you feel explain the subject well, hope your child reads a book you bought them, or google words like “sex." You’ll have a highly trained and practiced teen health professional walking you through the essential talks kids 9-12 years old need to have about sex and growing up. Imagine a sexuality expert guiding you and your child through THE Talk about puberty and what sex is, allowing you to carve out the time to have one of life's most important talks!
You’ll take one subject at a time beginning with your child’s own body and they’ll learn how the reproductive organs function and how their body will change during the stage of development called puberty. After that you’ll learn about the other sex's body and how their bodies function and changes they go through that are both the same and different from your child’s body. Next, you'll learn together what sex is, why adults have sex, how pregnancy and conception work, and even see a birth video. Lastly, you’ll learn about peer pressure and how to combat it, different types of families, and end with Puberty Jeopardy to play as a family! We have also included additional content "For When They’re Ready"! Along the way, you'll have opportunities to play games and activities together and have access to an activity book and journal so BOTH of you can dive deeper into the course and ensure you keep talkin'! Instead of talking to your child, you'll talk WITH them! This course creates an amazing opportunity to talk with your child about sex, allowing you to plug in your own family values along the way. We all get busy, tired, and distracted by everyday to-do lists and it's easy to lose time and pass up opportunities to talk with our children. Often times this requires consciously creating and even scheduling a time to have these important conversations. This 6-week course will hold your hand through one of life's most important talks! Watch the video to learn more or visit https://www.thetalkinstitute.com/Talkingthetalkpromo
What is great about Talking THE Talk is you'll get to preview and watch all the videos before your child does. Decide if you want to watch it together, tackle it yourself, or skip it altogether. The course content is released for over six weeks. Then you'll have an entire year (or longer if you opt for it) to complete all the course content, allowing you to go at your own pace and learning from the privacy of your own home. You'll get to be a part of this important conversation with your child and not leave it up to the school to do it or for your child to learn from their friends, Internet, or society about sex. This program creates an opportunity for you to insert your family values and beliefs along the way, opening up communication between the two of you. This program saves you time, sighs, and eyes rolling because you'll be learning next to your child instead of talking at them in the car or edge of their bed. It's a different experience, I promise. I'm not their mom. For some reason--we all do this by the way--we hear others differently than the people closest to us. Having other adults say things that you have said reaffirms and validates talks you may have already had. Participants benefit years later from the program as it paves the way for future conversations to happen more easily with less embarrassment or awkwardness. You'll likely be closer to your child afterward, having more intimate and important conversations. I'm going to model for you the tone, types of words, and poker face that's best to have when discussing sexuality. You'll have fun doing the included games, activities, and workbooks. Plus, to top it all off, as a parent, you'll be clearer about what your values are and how to best instill them in your children! All of this for ONLY $97!!! This is a DEAL! Don't miss out on this opportunity and Get it NOW!
In case you are wondering what my teaching style looks and sounds like this video is a sample compilation of a few of the course videos. So once again, this is the course for you if you are the type of parent that wants to be involved in your child’s education about sexuality. You don’t want to leave it up to school or society to teach your child about sex. You understand the importance of young people having this information in order to be sexually healthy adolescents and adults and want your child to be able and willing to talk to YOU about this subject. You’ll get over 7 hours of video content helping you and your child discuss growing up and sex together, two workbooks to dive deeper into the content, access to fun games and activities to deepen your communication with your child, access to additional course content for harder subjects, a private Facebook community and monthly live Q sessions to answer all your questions along the way. Plus if you order now, you’ll get the extra bonus of I’m Internet & Social Media Savvy E-course for free ($29 value). You’ll even have the peace of mind knowing that you have 14 days to get your money back if you are not completely satisfied. This course is a DEAL too at just $97! I wanted it to be affordable, so as many families as possible could benefit from it. And really you can’t put a price tag on feeling and being closer with your children. Get it TODAY! Visit https://www.thetalkinstitute.com/Talkingthetalkpromo to order today!
Now for the icing on the cake!! Here's what else you get! Bonus #1 - One year continued access to the Parent's Corner! Bonus #2 - For When They’re Ready videos - on all the “tough” talks. Everything was filmed as if I were talking directly to both you and your 9-12-year-old child. You can watch the videos for tips and scripts on how to approach the conversations yourself or they are designed for you to sit and watch both together. These are the talks many parents get squeamish about, like other types of sex (oral, anal), explaining gender and sexual orientation, adult content/pornography, sexting, sexual abuse, how to know when you are in love, STDs, birth control basics, and more! They are simple and to the point and address many of the harder subjects. Bonus #3 - Access to a private Facebook group of other families taking the course AND a monthly Facebook Live Q session where I’ll answer any questions that came up during the month and other popular items I have received over the years of teaching live courses. Bonus #4 - Both a Parent and Child activity book to accompany the program to help families dive deeper into discussing the topics and practice bonding in included. Here’s why there is no risk… Here is what I’m willing to do for you to try the program today for no risk. You can try it and preview the content for 14 days to make sure it is for you. There is a 14-Day Money Back Guarantee! If for any reason you don’t like my style of teaching, the content is not what you were expecting, or what your child is ready for, you can get a full refund, no questions asked. Special Surprise Bonus!! - A BONUS E-COURSE! I’m Internet & Social Media Savvy was also designed for you to watch with your 9-12-year-old child about how to be safe online. Kids are all over the Internet these days, making it so important for parents to be sure to talk to their kids about being safe, as well as discuss what information should be kept OFF the Internet. Could you use a little support in stressing the importance of protecting against predators and preserving your child's reputation online? What about discussing cyberbullying, social networking do’s and don’ts, when/where not to post, privacy, and safety online. It can be difficult making sure your child knows all of this all by yourself. Included free when you purchase The Talk course within 72 hours of your Parent's Corner expiring you’ll also receive our I’m Internet & Social Media Savvy course, a goal.

Hello and Welcome! 

I'm Jen Elledge, Sexual Health Expert and Founder of The Talk Institute, and I'll be your guide through the program. One thing I've learned in my over 15 years experience is that parents and kids need to be having conversations about sexuality together. These talks need to start early, should happen often, and are key to raising sexually healthy kids. I created this parenting course to support parents and help them feel confident and sure about what to say, how much to say, and when to say it. 

The course addresses common fears, myths, and hesitations parents have. We go through the stages and ages of what to say when, a framework and scripts for the top 10 toughest sexuality questions,  tips on what not to do, and more.  There is a wealth of content available to you here in this course and I hope it is helpful for your family. Our world needs to be more sexually healthy. This course will help empower parents to have one of life's most important conversations about growing up. 

Be sure to download and complete the accompanying workbook to get the most out of the course. If you find you need additional help and support, please follow me on social media and check out the offer at the end of the course. I hope you enjoy the program! 

Requirements

The only requirement is an open mind and heart. There are many different values and beliefs when it comes to sexuality, and as parents, it is our job to instill what we believe as we teach our children how to be safe and healthy in today's world.

In this video, I share a bit about my teaching style and philosophy to assure it aligns with your own. When it comes to the subject of sexuality, there are a ton of different values and beliefs. Here I share a bit of my own. Like... I believe that parents are the primary sex educators for their children. For this reason, it is important to have age-appropriate conversations throughout their life span. I don't believe it is necessary to lie to children or use fear, shame, or absolutes when discussing sexuality. Open, honest, and frequent conversations are the key to raising sexually healthy children. I think it is important that adults in young people's lives have these conversations with them to combat all the mixed messages they may receive from society. Children have the right to have access to age-appropriate, medically accurate information about their bodies. Research tells us that kids that have close relationships with caring adults in their lives make better choices, are happier, and are healthier as adults. This is what all parents hope for their children.
As a popular speaker for over 15 years, I have taught thousands of parents and young people the importance of being sexually healthy. I've had multiple careers teaching sexual health at universities, running teen programming for community clinics, and working with diverse populations ranging from homeless and underprivileged youth, autistic and special needs populations, abused and neglected children, elementary through college students, to sexual assault victims. This diverse work experience in the fields of youth development and sex education has allowed me to accumulate a wealth of knowledge and expertise. I share this with families through curricula that help parents and children master THE Talk! I'll share more about that with you later. My entire career, I have had an interest in sexual health. Always researching solutions and best practices to help support youth and families. In an effort to assist parents with the growing need to communicate with their children about difficult-to-discuss topics, like sexuality, I founded The Talk Institute. My formal education background includes a bachelor's degree in psychology and a master's degree in public health. I've studied sex education internationally in the Netherlands, Germany, and France, where the teen pregnancy, birth, and STD rates are up to nine times lower than in the U.S., in search of best practices to implement here in the States.
When are children ready for “THE Talk”? Parents often ask us when they should start telling their children about sex. One answer is, when the child begins to ask questions. However, if you wait for your child to ask or only discuss sex when your child asks, some sexual topics will never get discussed, at least not at the proper time. Parents must take the initiative. This includes certain aspects of sexual maturation that a child may not consider until he or she experiences them. It is important that young people are aware of the physiological changes before they actually happen. For more information on what changes are normal in adolescence visit www.advocatesforyouth.org/parents/.
I have found in the 15 years I‘ve been in teen-pregnancy prevention and youth development, that a close parent-child relationship is one of the strongest protective factors in preventing unintended pregnancy and disease. Kids who have open and honest conversations with adults in their lives tend to wait longer to have sex, have fewer sexual partners, and have healthier romantic relationships. Who wouldn't want to sign their family up for that?!? Watch the video to learn more.
What might stop you from having conversations with your children about sex and growing up? There are many! Here we introduce and debunk some of the most common hesitations parents experience.
Here we introduce and debunk some of the most common hesitations parents experience. Afterward, you'll feel more certain of your decision to begin this conversation with your child. Be sure to download the parent workbook and begin the activities. I know you are busy, but please take your time completing it. It can be transformational!
A belief some parents have is their child seems too young to learn about sex. It is normal to want to preserve a child's innocence and not rush them to grow up too fast. Parents may hesitate to discuss sex with their children for fear that this would encourage early sexual experimentation. However, there is no evidence that sex education in the home contributes to either irresponsible sexual activity or an increased likelihood of adolescent sexual behavior. It is my belief that talking about sexuality WILL keep your child innocent. Watch the video to learn more about why.
Talking about sex can definitely be awkward and for many can cause embarrassment, especially when it comes to talking to your kids about it! This video will walk you through how to get past that. Don't allow awkwardness or embarrassment to be the reason not to talk about one of life's most important subjects. You've got this!
Most parents are uncertain about what to say, how much to say, and when to say it. I'm so proud of you that you are here learning more about the importance of these conversations and the appropriate timing of them. The easiest way to deal with uncertainty is to be certain. To do that you'll need to do research. I've provided some book and website suggestions to help you get started. These can also provide tools for helping you broach THE Talk with your children. When it comes to what to say and how much to say, that is going to depend on each individual child. As the parent or guardian, you'll have to gauge how much they can handle and then push yourself a little further. Often times kids need more information than we think they really do as they are exposed to so much so early. The main thing is to try your best to have conversations a bit earlier than your child will likely experience events. This will prepare them for what may come and allow opportunities to tell your child what expectations you have of their behavior. This helps lay the foundation of raising a sexually healthy child.
What do you do if your child doesn't want to talk to you about sex? It is not uncommon for children to resist having an uncomfortable conversation. Not just children, anyone really. This video will walk you through how to handle a resistant child and provides an example of what to say to your children to help them understand the importance of these conversations.
Believe it or not, sex education really begins at birth. As parents, you will be the main role model for healthy relationships. Your child is learning about love, safety, and how to trust others. From 0-2 years old, you'll want to positively acknowledge your child’s exploration of their body. But discuss that this is a private, not public, behavior. It's important to touch our private parts, at private times, in private places. When explaining all the body parts you'll want to use correct terms. This can be the first line of defense against sexual abuse. If you use nicknames for the body parts be sure to use the "adult" words as well, like penis or vagina. This is such a fun and exciting time to be a parent. You've got this!
Age 3-5 is a time of curiosity and exploring differences. As your child’s gender identity develops, encourage them to respect themselves and others. Use caution with language that sets stringent expectations of behaviors based on gender. Let them know they can talk to you or other trusted adults about anything. Name these adults in their lives. Teach them about appropriate touch and how to say no to unwanted touch. This begins with giving your child the right to decide who they allow to touch them. This includes family members. For example, instead of telling children to give someone a hug, ask them if they would like to give "so and so" a hug. Also, be ready to give a simple description of where babies come from. The video will explain more.
At age 6-8 years old, be prepared to answer more mature questions about reproduction. You may get lots of questions about what certain words mean that could surprise you. Don't forget to be mindful of your tone and facial expressions when this happens. Stay cool, calm, and collected. As children become more independent, reinforce the importance of open communication in your family. Practice this by having family rules around device use and sacred times when it is family time. You could have game nights and have quality time at meals and in the car to discuss your day. You'll want to begin to explain puberty and what body changes to expect. You can begin by reading a book together or using everyday teachable moments to get the conversations started. Always remember to promote a healthy body image. This means modeling this yourself. Be mindful of the language you use on a daily basis. Your children are watching you.
Now, as your child goes through puberty, emphasize that all bodies develop differently and at their own pace. Have detailed conversations about all the body changes before your child experiences them. This will help them know what is normal and ensure they are talking to you throughout this phase of development. It is likely you'll notice mood changes at this stage. This may begin with more attitude, tears, or aggression. Be patient with your children and try to remember that hormones are kicking off all of the physical and emotional changes their bodies will go through during puberty. Reinforce that masturbation is natural and healthy but should be done privately. Share personal experiences or use examples from popular media to discuss what healthy relationships look and feel like. TV and movies can be great conversation starters. Discuss your family’s expectations and values about dating and sexual activity as well. It is helpful to take a course together or watch videos or read a book explaining what sex is and why it is for adults.
From age 13-18 there are MANY conversations to have. Parents should talk about the benefits of delaying sexual activity. Your children will also need to develop the skills necessary in order to do so. You'll want to discuss reasons to wait, what healthy relationships look and feel like, as well as pregnancy and disease prevention for when they do decide to have sex. Experts recommend sharing where they can access sexual and reproductive health care services with or without you. Encourage your child to evaluate their relationships. Reinforce that healthy relationship are built on trust and equal power. Ensure that they know how to say “no.” Practice role-playing difficult situations such as parties, drugs, and alcohol. Explain what mutual consent means and why it is important. Know what schools are covering in the classroom and have other adults you trust to discuss the importance of being safe and having healthy relationships. Look for videos and courses that can help support you in having all the conversations that are needed at this time. It takes conversations early and often to raise a sexually healthy adolescent and adult. Always keep an eye out for moments to have important conversations in everyday life. You are doing an awesome job!
Want to avoid making some of the most common parenting mistakes--the Top 5 Things Parents Do Wrong when talking to their kids about sex and growing up? Of course, you do. That's why you are watching these videos!
As you watch the series don’t worry if you are guilty of one or more of these common parenting mistakes. I’ll teach you how to handle things even if it is after the fact. I look forward to seeing you in our next video on the FIRST thing parent’s do wrong.
If you are like most parents it’s easy to wait to have The Talk till there is a reason to talk about it, growing up is getting harder and harder these days, and it’s happening a lot sooner than it once did. Many times parents believe that conversations about the birds and the bees aren't necessary until a child has questions or has signs of physical development. The fact is, however, that some kids simply will never ask these types of questions. Your child is getting a sex education daily from the media, television, Internet, and their peers. You simply cannot be the only one not talking to them. Parents should not wait to talk to their kids till their child has questions, or for school to do it during the 5th-grade puberty video. Instead, look for opportunities to share your beliefs and values about sex and growing up in everyday life.
Another common mistake parents make is that they lie! Sometimes parents or adults believe children are too young to hear the real truth about sex, so they choose to lie or withhold information to protect them. If children find out you lied, it ruins your credibility and then they will discount anything you have to say about that topic. If your child is young, try to simply answer a question without much detail. If it wasn't enough information, he or she will ask you a follow-up question. If not, conversation finished without a big fat lie you're sure to regret later.
You know how you can look at your kid and know when something is wrong? Well, your kids can read you too. They will know if a topic freaks you out, embarrasses you, or makes you angry. It's important to be open when talking about sex. That means trying not to overreact when you are shocked or concerned. Take a deep breath and try to think about how best to react.
Research has shown that fear-based approaches are not the best tactic. Fear can seem effective but typically is only for the short term. Kids get stuck on absolutes, as part of their adolescent development is to challenge rules. Teens easily discount someone who uses absolutes like always, never, and all. Young people don’t just need to know about the potential ramifications of sex, they need to know what the benefits of a healthy, consensual, and autonomous sex life look like.
There are conversations that you are going to have to initiate with your kids. If you pay attention, you'll notice teachable moments are around you all the time. For example, you are watching a movie or television show, and a sexy make-out scene is on. This can make parents and kids feel uncomfortable. Instead of changing the channel, maybe this is an opportunity to ask your child about what you are watching. You could have an interesting conversation about intimate relationships, feel out your child's values, and instill your own.
This video and PDF you are going to LOVE! I've developed a framework to help parents answer ANY difficult question. Sexuality-related or not. This framework will help you keep the communication doors open with your children by encouraging questions while allowing you to answer honestly and simply. Please let me know your feedback and comments after you try it! You've got this!
Get scripts for some of the most popular questions kids ask that make parents squirm with the uncertainty of how to answer.
One of the most popular questions kids ask parents is, "Where do babies come from?" Other variations to this question may be, "Where did I come from?" "What is sex?" Or some derivative of that question. Not sure what to say? Watch to get some ideas and possible scripts for answering this timeless sex question.
Another popular question kids ask parents is if it is okay to masturbate. Maybe parents walk in or catch their child self-touching and aren't sure how to handle it. You want not to shame your child but talk to them about appropriate places and times for self-touching. Not sure what to say? Watch on to get some ideas and possible scripts for addressing self-touching in a sexually healthy way.
Another popular question kids ask parents is, "What is a condom?" Not sure what to say? Simply put a condom is a glove for a penis. Watch on to get some ideas and possible scripts for answering this popular sex question and tips to explaining more to your kids based on their age.
A parent favorite is, "Were you a virgin when you got married?" Other variations to this question may be, "How many people have you had sex with?" or some derivative of that question. Not sure what to say? Watch on to get some ideas and possible scripts to answering this question many parents fear.
Another favorite question kids ask parents is around birth control. Other variations to this question may be "What do couples do who don't want children?" or some derivative of that question. Not sure what to say? Watch on to get some ideas and possible scripts for answering this timeless sex question.
Another dreaded question parents have is around "other" types of sex or sexual behavior like oral sex. "What is 69?" "What is giving head?" or some derivative of that question can leave parents paralyzed. Not sure what to say? Watch on to get some ideas and possible scripts for answering this difficult sex question.
What would you say if your child asked you what age is right for sex? Not sure? Watch on to get some ideas and possible scripts for answering this popular sex question.
Another tough question kids ask parents is, "How do babies die?" Kids may ask questions about abortion or miscarriage as well. Want to know where to start? Watch on to get some ideas and possible scripts for answering this tough sex question.
What would you say if your child asked, "What is porn?" "What about a prostitute?" Better yet, you found adult material on your child's computer or phone. Not sure what you'd say? Watch on to get some ideas and possible scripts to answering another popular sex question.
What would you say if your child asked you about rape or sexual assault? How would you explain it, and what information should you include as they get older? Not sure...watch on to get some ideas and possible scripts to answering another tough sex question.
I hope you enjoyed your over 2.5 hours of FREE training on how to talk with your children of any age about sex and growing up. It is my personal mission to help empower parents to have open and honest conversations about this subject in order to raise sexually healthy kids. If you find you need more support, please check out my offer! If you received enough to get going on these conversations, awesome!! Thanks for taking the time to develop the skill of talking about this important subject. You'll be glad you did! All the best! Jennifer
Below and attached, I've provided resources to help you continue your conversations. If you enjoyed the course, the best thank you is to spread the word and share it with your friends and family. This will help me save on marketing and allow me to continue to offer this course free of cost. I wish you all the best! **Note: This page in no way represents an endorsement by The Talk Institute of the following websites. It is merely a compilation of currently available websites on sexuality that parents and their children may find helpful. Parents should preview sites for age appropriateness before allowing their child to view the listed sites. Sites For Parents (To keep you up to date) The National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy www.teenpregnancy.org Children Now and Kaiser Family Foundation www.talkingwithkids.org Sex Information and Education Council of the United States www.siecus.org - statistics and resources for educators and families Kids Health www.kidshealth.org/parent - provides general medical info on children’s health issues Kaiser Family Foundation www.itsyoursexlife.com - (888) BE SAFE-1 Advocates for Youth www.advocatesforyouth.org National PTA website to order copy Talking With Kids: A Parent’s Guide To Sex Education http://www.pta.org/parentinvolvement/healthsafety Advocates for Youth http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/parents/ - parent tips on how to talk about sex Siecus report on parent/child communication programs http://www.familiesaretalking.org/ Healthy Teen Network http://www.healthyteennetwork.org/ - National Org. for Adolescent Pregnancy, Parenting, & Prevention RAINN http://www.rainn.org/ information and resources on sexual assault American Medical Women’s Association Obstetrics and Gynecology www.obgyn.net Sexual Health Network http://www.sexualhealth.com/ - easy access to sexuality information for people with disabilities. Kaiser Daily Reproductive Health Reports http://www.kaisernetwork.org/ Resource Center for Adolescent Pregnancy Prevention http://www.etr.org/ Alan Guttmacher Institute http://www.guttmacher.org/– sex education research Center for Disease Control http://www.cdc.gov/ Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance http://www.cdc.gov/epo/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/00049859.htm Child Trends http://www.childtrends.org/- statistics and data
I hope you enjoyed your over 2.5 hours of free training from me! I realize that some parents may still not feel 100% confident having all of the talks necessary. In this video, I discuss an amazing offer available for parents with children 9-12 years old! I have taken all of the knowledge and experience I have accumulated teaching this subject and made an easy-to-follow e-course for families to take together to have THE Talk. You won’t have to research a bunch of websites, search for videos that you feel explain the subject well, hope your child reads a book you bought them, or google words like “sex." You’ll have a highly trained and practiced teen health professional walking you through the essential talks kids 9-12 years old need to have about sex and growing up. Imagine a sexuality expert guiding you and your child through THE Talk about puberty and what sex is, allowing you to carve out the time to have one of life's most important talks!
You’ll take one subject at a time beginning with your child’s own body and they’ll learn how the reproductive organs function and how their body will change during the stage of development called puberty. After that you’ll learn about the other sex's body and how their bodies function and changes they go through that are both the same and different from your child’s body. Next, you'll learn together what sex is, why adults have sex, how pregnancy and conception work, and even see a birth video. Lastly, you’ll learn about peer pressure and how to combat it, different types of families, and end with Puberty Jeopardy to play as a family! We have also included additional content "For When They’re Ready"! Along the way, you'll have opportunities to play games and activities together and have access to an activity book and journal so BOTH of you can dive deeper into the course and ensure you keep talkin'! Instead of talking to your child, you'll talk WITH them! This course creates an amazing opportunity to talk with your child about sex, allowing you to plug in your own family values along the way. We all get busy, tired, and distracted by everyday to-do lists and it's easy to lose time and pass up opportunities to talk with our children. Often times this requires consciously creating and even scheduling a time to have these important conversations. This 6-week course will hold your hand through one of life's most important talks! Watch the video to learn more or visit https://www.thetalkinstitute.com/Talkingthetalkpromo
What is great about Talking THE Talk is you'll get to preview and watch all the videos before your child does. Decide if you want to watch it together, tackle it yourself, or skip it altogether. The course content is released for over six weeks. Then you'll have an entire year (or longer if you opt for it) to complete all the course content, allowing you to go at your own pace and learning from the privacy of your own home. You'll get to be a part of this important conversation with your child and not leave it up to the school to do it or for your child to learn from their friends, Internet, or society about sex. This program creates an opportunity for you to insert your family values and beliefs along the way, opening up communication between the two of you. This program saves you time, sighs, and eyes rolling because you'll be learning next to your child instead of talking at them in the car or edge of their bed. It's a different experience, I promise. I'm not their mom. For some reason--we all do this by the way--we hear others differently than the people closest to us. Having other adults say things that you have said reaffirms and validates talks you may have already had. Participants benefit years later from the program as it paves the way for future conversations to happen more easily with less embarrassment or awkwardness. You'll likely be closer to your child afterward, having more intimate and important conversations. I'm going to model for you the tone, types of words, and poker face that's best to have when discussing sexuality. You'll have fun doing the included games, activities, and workbooks. Plus, to top it all off, as a parent, you'll be clearer about what your values are and how to best instill them in your children! All of this for ONLY $97!!! This is a DEAL! Don't miss out on this opportunity and Get it NOW!
In case you are wondering what my teaching style looks and sounds like this video is a sample compilation of a few of the course videos. So once again, this is the course for you if you are the type of parent that wants to be involved in your child’s education about sexuality. You don’t want to leave it up to school or society to teach your child about sex. You understand the importance of young people having this information in order to be sexually healthy adolescents and adults and want your child to be able and willing to talk to YOU about this subject. You’ll get over 7 hours of video content helping you and your child discuss growing up and sex together, two workbooks to dive deeper into the content, access to fun games and activities to deepen your communication with your child, access to additional course content for harder subjects, a private Facebook community and monthly live Q sessions to answer all your questions along the way. Plus if you order now, you’ll get the extra bonus of I’m Internet & Social Media Savvy E-course for free ($29 value). You’ll even have the peace of mind knowing that you have 14 days to get your money back if you are not completely satisfied. This course is a DEAL too at just $97! I wanted it to be affordable, so as many families as possible could benefit from it. And really you can’t put a price tag on feeling and being closer with your children. Get it TODAY! Visit https://www.thetalkinstitute.com/Talkingthetalkpromo to order today!
Now for the icing on the cake!! Here's what else you get! Bonus #1 - One year continued access to the Parent's Corner! Bonus #2 - For When They’re Ready videos - on all the “tough” talks. Everything was filmed as if I were talking directly to both you and your 9-12-year-old child. You can watch the videos for tips and scripts on how to approach the conversations yourself or they are designed for you to sit and watch both together. These are the talks many parents get squeamish about, like other types of sex (oral, anal), explaining gender and sexual orientation, adult content/pornography, sexting, sexual abuse, how to know when you are in love, STDs, birth control basics, and more! They are simple and to the point and address many of the harder subjects. Bonus #3 - Access to a private Facebook group of other families taking the course AND a monthly Facebook Live Q session where I’ll answer any questions that came up during the month and other popular items I have received over the years of teaching live courses. Bonus #4 - Both a Parent and Child activity book to accompany the program to help families dive deeper into discussing the topics and practice bonding in included. Here’s why there is no risk… Here is what I’m willing to do for you to try the program today for no risk. You can try it and preview the content for 14 days to make sure it is for you. There is a 14-Day Money Back Guarantee! If for any reason you don’t like my style of teaching, the content is not what you were expecting, or what your child is ready for, you can get a full refund, no questions asked. Special Surprise Bonus!! - A BONUS E-COURSE! I’m Internet & Social Media Savvy was also designed for you to watch with your 9-12-year-old child about how to be safe online. Kids are all over the Internet these days, making it so important for parents to be sure to talk to their kids about being safe, as well as discuss what information should be kept OFF the Internet. Could you use a little support in stressing the importance of protecting against predators and preserving your child's reputation online? What about discussing cyberbullying, social networking do’s and don’ts, when/where not to post, privacy, and safety online. It can be difficult making sure your child knows all of this all by yourself. Included free when you purchase The Talk course within 72 hours of your Parent's Corner expiring you’ll also receive our I’m Internet & Social Media Savvy course, a goal.

About the instructors

Jen Elledge, Mph, Ches

Adolescent and Sexual Health Expert
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A popular in-demand speaker, Jennifer has taught thousands of parents and young people for over 15 years the importance of being sexually healthy. Through light humor, engaging activities, and story she creates an open and honest conversation about one of the toughest subjects parents must broach.

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