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Relationship Residue - Impact of Personal History on Relationships

Become aware of how your personal history and behaviors and those of others you interact with affect your relationships. Learn how to stop making relationship choices based on fear.

Relationship Residue - Impact of Personal History on Relationships

Become aware of how your personal history and behaviors and those of others you interact with affect your relationships. Learn how to stop making relationship choices based on fear.
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This lesson presents a short overview of what makes a romantic relationship (or any relationship for that matter) a good one and what's needed to create a healthy relationship.
This lesson explores how the relationship roles imprinted onto our neural pathways when we were young, along with the cultural role expectations communicated to us (and our partners) via media and other means, affect our relationships.
Use the following steps to explore your relationship expectations and hopes. Write, think, and/or talk out loud – whatever works best to help you to gain a better understanding of what is seen and what may be hidden. You could do this with your partner – either separately and then together, or simultaneously. (It can also be done on your own.) Be brutally honest with yourself, and very kind to each other.
This lesson explains why useful boundaries are more about where WE won’t go than about where we don’t want OTHER PEOPLE to go.
Use the following steps to explore how to draw and use effective boundaries. Write, think, and/or talk out loud – whatever works best to help you to gain a better understanding of what you already know and what you may discover through this process.
This lesson discusses how being selfless is not necessarily the noble thing it’s often made out to be, and how self-care isn’t truly helpful unless ALL the selves in the relationship are cared for.
Use the following steps to explore how you and your partner do selves care. Write, think, and/or talk out loud – whatever works best to help you to gain a better understanding of what you already know and what you may discover through this process. (It can also be done on your own.)
This lesson explores why we (or our partners) sometimes choose not to notice something happening in our relationship or pretend (or convince ourselves) it isn’t actually happening at all. It further examines the personal and relationship growth that can happen if we bravely and intentionally tell ourselves (and each other) the truth.
Use the following steps to try to discover what you may be hiding from yourself (and perhaps from others too). Write, think, and/or talk out loud – whatever works best to help you to gain a better understanding of what you already know and what you may discover through this process.
This lesson explores how we can either view our past relationship experiences as 1) an excuse to live in fear and resentment, which is likely to end up adversely affecting our current relationship; or 2) an opportunity to choose to learn more about ourselves and our partners, which will probably improve our current relationship and how we feel about ourselves.
Use the following steps to explore ways to use lessons from your past to discover more about yourself and your current life situation. Write, think, and/or talk out loud – whatever works best to help you to gain a better understanding of what you already know and what you may discover through this process.
This lesson explains how getting stuck in automatic behavior patterns, whether positive or negative ones, can damage a relationship. It further explores how it is possible for love to be both constant and ever-evolving.
Use the following descriptions and examples to help you recognize any auto-responses you or your partner may habitually default to during difficult moments in your relationship. Then look at the positive versions and 'do better' tips to create more authentic and useful behaviors. Write, think, and/or talk out loud – whatever works best to help you to gain a better understanding of what you already know and what you may discover through this process.
Use the attached list of myths to question the autopilot beliefs and behaviors many of us have been taught about relationships.

This course is for anyone who wants to learn how to have healthier relationships with others. The tips and skills presented are primarily about romantic relationships; however, they will also prove helpful in workplace encounters, family dynamics, and friendships. Learn ways to improve your ability to notice what is happening in your relationships and to understand why it is happening. Discover how things that have happened in past relationships can affect your current relationships. Learn more about yourself and why you behave the ways you do in your relationships. Explore behavioral approaches that can help you to intentionally make relationship choices that are based on what you truly want, not on what you are supposed to want or on what you are worried you’ll never get. Explore tools that can help you to communicate more clearly and compassionately with others, and with yourself.

Requirements

  • the ability to access PDFs & mp4s
  • a willingness to be honest with yourself about your hopes and fears
  • a desire to attempt to notice your thoughts and behaviors consciously
  • a commitment to being intentional about your relationship choices - large and small
This lesson presents a short overview of what makes a romantic relationship (or any relationship for that matter) a good one and what's needed to create a healthy relationship.
This lesson explores how the relationship roles imprinted onto our neural pathways when we were young, along with the cultural role expectations communicated to us (and our partners) via media and other means, affect our relationships.
Use the following steps to explore your relationship expectations and hopes. Write, think, and/or talk out loud – whatever works best to help you to gain a better understanding of what is seen and what may be hidden. You could do this with your partner – either separately and then together, or simultaneously. (It can also be done on your own.) Be brutally honest with yourself, and very kind to each other.
This lesson explains why useful boundaries are more about where WE won’t go than about where we don’t want OTHER PEOPLE to go.
Use the following steps to explore how to draw and use effective boundaries. Write, think, and/or talk out loud – whatever works best to help you to gain a better understanding of what you already know and what you may discover through this process.
This lesson discusses how being selfless is not necessarily the noble thing it’s often made out to be, and how self-care isn’t truly helpful unless ALL the selves in the relationship are cared for.
Use the following steps to explore how you and your partner do selves care. Write, think, and/or talk out loud – whatever works best to help you to gain a better understanding of what you already know and what you may discover through this process. (It can also be done on your own.)
This lesson explores why we (or our partners) sometimes choose not to notice something happening in our relationship or pretend (or convince ourselves) it isn’t actually happening at all. It further examines the personal and relationship growth that can happen if we bravely and intentionally tell ourselves (and each other) the truth.
Use the following steps to try to discover what you may be hiding from yourself (and perhaps from others too). Write, think, and/or talk out loud – whatever works best to help you to gain a better understanding of what you already know and what you may discover through this process.
This lesson explores how we can either view our past relationship experiences as 1) an excuse to live in fear and resentment, which is likely to end up adversely affecting our current relationship; or 2) an opportunity to choose to learn more about ourselves and our partners, which will probably improve our current relationship and how we feel about ourselves.
Use the following steps to explore ways to use lessons from your past to discover more about yourself and your current life situation. Write, think, and/or talk out loud – whatever works best to help you to gain a better understanding of what you already know and what you may discover through this process.
This lesson explains how getting stuck in automatic behavior patterns, whether positive or negative ones, can damage a relationship. It further explores how it is possible for love to be both constant and ever-evolving.
Use the following descriptions and examples to help you recognize any auto-responses you or your partner may habitually default to during difficult moments in your relationship. Then look at the positive versions and 'do better' tips to create more authentic and useful behaviors. Write, think, and/or talk out loud – whatever works best to help you to gain a better understanding of what you already know and what you may discover through this process.
Use the attached list of myths to question the autopilot beliefs and behaviors many of us have been taught about relationships.

About the instructors

Cinse Bonino

author, creative consultant, awareness facilitator, and educator
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Cinse Bonino is an author and creative consultant who has written: The Ride of Your Life: choosing what drives you; Relationship Residue; and One Key: SEE, One Key: DO, accessing your brains creative abilities (launching in Summer 2019). She also works does individual awareness and group trainings through her business see choose do (seechoosedo.com). Cinse created the non-tarot tarot deck WISE ASKS. The deck is a reflection tool based on the types of images our subconscious often uses to speak to us. Cinse does in-person and online WISE ASKS readings for clients (wiseasks.com). Cinse lives in Vermont with her cat Melina and enjoys visits from her grown-up son Richie who serves in the military.

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