Persuade with Moxie

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Transcript

How to persuade with Moxie? If it is very natural for people to talk about themselves in their businesses, how can you be patient to the slip in a salient point to solve someone else's problems? Patience is a virtue. Without patience we would move at breakneck speed without taking time to reflect on others thoughts and words. To really understand what they have said. We need first spend time listening and then we must practice patience before talking.

You need to take time to assimilate what has been said listening patiently also means waiting until they have finished talking. It can be very annoying when a person goes on and on but does 321 How to persuade with Moxie? If it is very natural for people to talk about themselves in their businesses, how can you be patient and slip in a salient point to solve someone else's problems? Patience is a virtue. Without patience, we would move at breakneck speed without taking time to reflect on others thoughts and words, to really understand what they have said, We need first to spend time listening. And then we must practice patience before talking.

You need to take time to assimilate what has been said. Listening patiently, also means waiting until they have finished talking. It can be very annoying when a person goes on and on. But it does happen. Most talkers are likely not aware they are boring those around them and that they are as we say, sucking all the oxygen out of the room. But if you take time to really listen to what they have to say you may learn something new.

In this type of situation, it is best to allow the person to talk while interjecting a question now and then that is if you can get a word in edgewise. It may seem like you're encouraging the talker and in a way you are, but in reality, you are practicing patience by allowing this person to talk. Most important finding a way to steer the conversation in the direction you desire. Even as the person is talking, you may be making mental notes about the topic, especially if it has something to do with the business pain that your company can solve. being patient is probably one of the most difficult things to do, but it has its own rewards for the listener. Just think about a time when you waited in the lineup and ended up being the last one serve just before the food line closed and there were some leftover goodies for you to take the patient paid off.

Remember people are pushy when it comes to talking about themselves. Listen and you may find out more than you could have any other way. So if you have asked questions spent your time listening to the other person and secretly taking mental notes on the answers, now it is the time to decide whether there is a possibility of doing business with this person. If so, it is not a simple question of asking for a meeting and definitely not simply collecting his business card. Timing is everything and exchanging information at the right time will make the difference in how you follow up with your new prospects. Want to get a word in edgewise.

Don't bother. Listening is one of the most important skills you can have. How well you listen has a major impact on your effectiveness as the networker. We listen to obtain information to understand And we listen for enjoyment. We also listen to learn. Given all this listening we do, you would think we'd be very good at it.

In fact, most of us are not. Research suggests that we remember between 25 and 50% of everything we hear. That means when you talk to someone, or only 10 minutes, they will pay attention to less than half of what you have to say. What will you retain with your 25%? One of the biggest components of listening is self awareness. Take note of your own listening skills.

How much do you retain? test yourself on the next conversation? Then wait five minutes and write down what you remember. It probably will not meet your own expectations. Why do we not retain most of the information. There are several reasons.

First of which is we are absorbed in our own thoughts and internal dialogue, and are not really listening to what is being said, unless our own bias is put on it. And second, we have not practiced active listening. So what is active listening? While active listening is difficult at first, as we are awkward and knowing what to do. My suggestion for practice is to always ask questions around the things you want to remember. So, if you're asking a question around statistics, or you're asking a question around some business pain as something you absolutely want to know, and you want to retain it, involving more than one sense helps you with memory processes.

So asking questions is a great way to focus on the conversation. Just remember Good communication skills require a high level of self awareness. By understanding your personal style of communicating, you will go a long way towards creating good and lasting impressions with those that you meet at networking events. Cutting in acknowledging others, your person from the outside concentration should be on the other person. If you're finding it particularly difficult to concentrate on what someone is saying. Try repeating their words mentally as they say them.

This will reinforce their message and help you stay focused. To enhance your listening skills. You need to let the other person know that you are listening to what he or she is saying. To understand the importance of this, ask yourself if you've ever been engaged in a conversation, when you wondered if the other person was listening to what you were saying. I know I have been in many of them without A person talks and talks. I say something they kind of ignore it and just go off on their own tangent.

You wonder if your message is getting across for even if you are worthwhile and the other person makes you feel that way it feels like talking to a brick wall and sometimes it's something you want to avoid. Don't always avoid it, you will learn something no matter who is doing the talking. For active listening, you should always acknowledge the speaker acknowledgement can be something as simple as a nod of the head or a simple Hmm, well, not quite not tone, but Oh, I didn't know that. You aren't necessarily agreeing with the person you're simply indicating that you are listening. Using body language and other signs to acknowledge your listening also remind you to pay attention and not let your mind wander. You should also try and indicate that you are interested With the occasional nod or question or comment, and perhaps going back and trying to recap what they say, just to make sure that you got it right.

Provide feedback through more questions. We know we all have personal filters. We all have assumptions and judgments and beliefs from our own experiences that can change what we actually hear. So what is being said is not necessarily what we hear. Your role is listeners to understand what the other person is saying. It may be that you need to ask questions by paraphrasing, is this what I'm hearing?

Sounds like you are saying. These are great ways to ask questions to clarify points. You can also ask, what did you mean when you said typically, you can summarize the question Speakers comments periodically just to inform them that you are listening. Let's talk about the principles of listening. First is awareness. Listening and not talking to others opens your ears.

So first you want to stop talking according to Mark Twain. If we're supposed to talk more than we listen, we should have two tongues in one year. Don't talk. Absolutely. Listen, when someone else is talking. Listen to what they're saying.

Try not to interrupt. Try not to finish their sentences for them, as we often do at home, and try not to let them know you know more than them. Just stop. Just listen. Wait till they're finished talking. And then you can clarify something.

Actually, you can clarify just in the middle of their sentence. If it's something that confuses you Prepare yourself to listen. Remember you're going to relax and the idea is to focus on the speaker. You cannot be thinking about anything else at the same time. I know we are all easily distracted by other thoughts. We may be thinking about the food or what are they serving after the event or what kind of drinks are we going to have?

Who should I be meeting with after the event? Leave all of that behind. Try to put other thoughts out of your mind and absolutely concentrate on what is being said and communicated to you by the person in front of you. Put the person at ease. Let them know they are free to speak. Remember their needs concerns a business pain is that is why you're at the event to learn more about them not so you can talk about you.

The more you learn about other people and understand and show your listening and understanding what is being said, the better off you will be. Now, we've already talked about removing distractions, but you know, put the phone away. You don't need to be answering phone calls in the middle of a conversation. You don't want to be shuffling papers, you don't want to be picking at your fingernails. You don't want to be doing brushing your hair back. You don't want to be doing all kinds of things.

You have to remove those distractions and absolutely concentrate on the listening and send that message to the speaker that you're not bored or distracted, but you are listening. And one final point under awareness, learn to empathize. That is understanding the other point of view. Look at their business pain from their perspective. Look at what they have his preconceived ideas. have an open mind.

Learn what the speaker is saying and put yourself in their shoes if the speaker says something you disagree with, wait until later and counter argue with them, but not in this conversation, because you're trying to listen to the views and opinions of them. You are there to openly listen and not put your own prejudice on it. Next up is patience. And this is a hard one because you have to be patient and let them talk. Even when the speaker makes a pause, and if it's a long one, that does not mean you need to interject with your own stuff. It does not mean they're finished.

You have to wait it out. Let them continue on their own time. Sometimes it's just them thinking about what they want to say next and how they want to say it. The point is, you do not want to interrupt You do not want to try and finish their thoughts for them. They are their thoughts, not yours. Another part of patience is to avoid personal prejudice.

Now I know it's hard to be impartial and not put your own views on top of what other people are saying. And you can become irritated and let the other person's habits and mannerisms distract you from what they're saying. Try not to look at them. Try to concentrate on the words everyone has a different way of speaking. Maybe some people are nervous, maybe some people are shy, sometimes they have an accent. Sometimes they have cultural differences in the way they present the information.

You still have to sit still and focus on what is being said. Ignore the styles of delivery if you can also listen for their tone of voice. Their volume and tone will add to what they're saying. A good speaker will use both volume and tone to their advantage. That is to keep the audience attentive. If I read this out in a drone, you probably would fall asleep pretty quickly.

However, by using pitch, tone and volume of voice in certain situations that helps you to understand and pay attention to what is being said. Finally, let's talk a little bit about communication. Listen for ideas and ways to further communicate. gestures, facial expressions, eye movement, hands and arms, mouth, ears, everything counts, that is all the nonverbal cues. We don't just listen with our ears, but we are also listening with our eyes at the same time, you will pick up additional information via those nonverbal communications. just from looking at their face and concentrating and paying attention.

Ideas to remember This lesson I want to get into Word edgewise. Don't practicing patience is a part of learning to listen. There's nothing more difficult than not talking to others. Even the silent types want to get a word in edgewise. When you are with an over talker, patience is needed even more. Do not interrupt.

Just listen and see what you can learn. Most talkers have no idea that others want to talk as well. Want to get a word in edgewise? Don't if the other person keeps talking, do not interrupt. Keep in icontact don't fidget don't multitask. Keep concentrating on listening to what they're saying.

You may hear them but are you truly listening? What about cutting in and asking the right questions? Asking questions when you want them to clarify something is really impressive. Repeat what you think they said and let them correct you. Ask questions for more details. You are there to get information and perhaps find a way to get the next meeting.

Principles of listening, stop talking and prepare yourself to listen to the other person. Remove distractions. Put your smartphone away, be patient and use the appropriate body language to convey you're truly listening. Do not prejudge the person or what is being said. Ask questions to clarify. Listen for keywords and new ideas.

As I mentioned, listening is difficult when someone else wants to take up all the airtime. We all hear words but most often we do not listen for clues as to the business needs to the individual or organization. Listening first and then moving on to making decisions on whether to exchange business cards. or not, is the topic of our next lesson. A great card

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